


Meridian

by orphan_account



Category: Code Geass
Genre: ASMR, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Community: cgkinkmemeii, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, I gave Lelouch the tingles, M/M, Marathon Sex, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Pining, Omega Verse, Omega/Omega sex, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Rimming, Sex Toys, Which most definitely becomes hella romantic cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:39:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4971985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Omega!Lelouch/Omega!Suzaku. Suzaku recognizes the signs of an oncoming Heat in Lelouch, offers to lend a hand. Eventually, Lelouch agrees. What ensues is their struggling with ideas, insticts, and desires, all while (mostly) naked.</p><p>Written for the cgkinkmemeii.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meridian

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt here (http://cgkinkmemeii.livejournal.com/2983.html?thread=4813991#t4813991).

 

Lelouch stares at him for almost a full thirty seconds, the words cutting through the hormonal haze of his brain like a foghorn. "How do you-"

Suzaku arches an eyebrow. "You think I don't recognize the symptoms?"

"I…I don't…"

Suzaku gives him a bemused look, dropping his voice, although there’s no one in the council room other than them at the moment – a rarity. "You can't expect that another Omega wouldn't notice, did you? It's kind of blaringly obvious that you're about to Heat." At Lelouch's wide eyes, he clears his throat, the smallest hint of color rising in his cheeks. "Ah. Yeah. I suppose I didn't tell you. Suppose there wasn't any reason for it to come up. Surprise."

Lelouch barely hears anything past the first sentence. Suzaku, an Omega? How on earth did he get into the military? How did he keep it a secret? How would he survive heats in military barracks?

It doesn't occur to him that he's uttered this aloud until Suzaku's laughing snaps Lelouch out of his reverie. "Wow, you really had no idea. Well, I'd rather not announce it to the world, but I'd be more than willing to tell you once we're not in danger of Milly breathing down our necks." He gives the room a subtle sweep before moving a little closer and leaning against the desk. "Do you have someone to help you?"

He frowns. "What do you mean?"

"You know. Someone to help?" At Lelouch's blank look, he frowns. "Oh. Do you not do that as, um…" He has no idea how to even finish that sentence. In Britannia? With Numbers? As Lelouch? "Sorry, I just thought I'd offer, but you don't have to, uh…you know what-"

"What exactly are you offering?" Lelouch spits, with more acid than he intends. He immediately regrets it, his patience worn unfairly thin due to his predicament, and seeing the sting in Suzaku's eyes. He desperately wants to hear his answer.

"Well, I've toughed out a few on my own and it's a pretty miserable experience. Usually takes longer, too. But when I joined the military, it was pretty normal and expected that you have someone who'd kind of…help you along. Usually another Omega, although they were rare." He flicks the feathery toy over Arthur's head, and the cat bats at it. "Kind of helped with the brotherhood concept, although that was semi short-lived. I didn't last long there before…well, before I got moved to engineering. Still working on that."

He looks at Lelouch, who can't stop staring at the soft line at the corner of his mouth when he smiles. "I've found that Heats are usually easier when aided by someone, especially if you don't have a partner. Usually another Omega, or at least someone who can't knot you. Betas, when there's no one else. But even that's risky. So," he shrugs, "just wanted to know if you had someone. But that's none of my business."

"Are you offering?"

Suzaku looks at him, and if there's a flash of something like eagerness in his eyes, it's gone before Lelouch can fully register it's even there. "I mean, sure. If you don't have anyone else."

Suzaku, in his room, in his bed, seeing him in that state? Writhing and whimpering and fluids everywhere -

"Are you crazy?!" He turns away, his hands gripping the edge of the desk, before letting his arms cradle his head, too much stimulation flooding his senses and making his temper rise again. "We couldn't. We can't. It's too…" He can't seem to find the right words. "It wouldn't work."

Suzaku blinks a few times, a little taken aback, but not entirely surprised by the outburst. "Alright. Well, you have my number if you change your mind. You should take the afternoon off. You look like you're gonna rip the next person who talks to you clear in half."

By the time Lelouch hears his footsteps receding over the sound of rushing blood in his ears, Suzaku is long gone from the room.

~~~~~~~~

Lelouch intended to keep true to his word, he really did. There are a few roads he could take. His last Heat was at least six months ago, and he'd felt so mortified by the fact that he'd spent most of it in the shower, using anything he could to satisfy himself, be it fingers or a conveniently (tantalizingly, teasingly) sized body mist bottle, but had left with bruises on his spine from lying on the floor of the tub, writhing and fucking himself on anything he possibly could.

It had been so utterly humiliating to his own personal sense of dignity, he felt his brain had sent his body conveniently and blessedly into lockdown to prevent any kind of hormonal flood in his body ever again. How wrong he had been. Not Geass nor sheer force of will could stop the inertia of his own body.

~~

Hours later, he’s half-crazed, every touch of the sheets is like sandpaper against his skin, and the ache in him is so strong, he’s afraid of what he might do. His fingers are trembling as he types the words.

- _Does your offer still stand?_

He all but throws his phone across the room after he hits "send," another wave of unbearable, toe curling need in him, like molten fire in his loins. His fingers tear at the sheets as he tries to control his shaking limbs. The harsh buzz of an answering text does that for him. He's frozen a moment, then scrambles out of bed to retrieve his phone.

Gods, does he dare read the response? It's from Suzaku. He has to.

He flicks open his phone. His stomach dissolves.

- _I'll be right there._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fifteen minutes later, there's a knock on the door. "Lelouch. It's me."

He yanks the sheets around his body, very aware of his own nudity. "J-just a moment!" He haphazardly yanks on some trousers, and throws on a shirt before staggering to the door. He cracks it open a marginal amount, and there is Suzaku, peering at him with a carefully neutral face.

"Hey. Can I come in?"

There's nothing for it. "You may." He moves backwards on watery legs and opens the door enough for him to get through. Suzaku inches through, and Lelouch sees he's carrying a small overnight pack, as well as a grocery bag. "What's in there?"

"Just some things to help you the next few days." He puts his bag down and looks at Lelouch, giving him a half smile. "You look terrible," he says, and to Lelouch's surprise, pulls him into a hug.

"W-what-" But it's like a wave of relief is lapping at his ankles, and his limbs sag as he leans against the solid body against him. "Ah…"

"We should probably get you out of those clothes." He laughs as Lelouch balks. "You can't expect to do this with your pants on? Let alone on backwards?"

Lelouch looks down. In his haste, his pants weren't just backwards, but his shirt inside out. "Ah…um…" Naked, in front of Suzaku. He hadn't thought that far ahead. That's a lie, of course he had, but the idea hadn't really sunk in until this very moment, faced with Suzaku, telling him to take off his clothes.

He looks up. Suzaku is smiling at him, the light in the lovely green eyes undimmed. He touches Lelouch's chin. "You just a shy guy?" he asks. "Come on, get under the sheets and do it, I'll get unpacked."

He takes his advice, mulling over what "unpacked" might mean. His clothes feel like fire on his skin, and it's such a relief to slip out of them, he's distracted by it enough to only faintly register that Suzaku is taking rather phallic shaped objects out of his bag. Oh good gods, they're toys!

"Gods, why do you have such a collection?!" he says, as Suzaku lays out another dildo next to what appears to be a smooth, silicon egg with a cord attached to it, as well as what looks like an anal plug.

"To avoid what you're going through right now. It's easier to feel fulfilled with someone there, and generally tends to make things go quicker, than, say, your own fingers," he says, now pulling a large bunch of bananas out of the grocery bag. Lelouch must have looked horrorstruck or disgusted, or both, because he says quickly, "Oh, these aren't for anything but eating. For a while, I couldn't think straight long enough to remind myself to eat. Let me tell you, getting a migraine while you're Heating isn't fun. I brought some other stuff, too. Yogurt and some bread, and…" He trails off, his mouth going dry as Lelouch touches one of the dildos, his beautiful, slender fingers trailing up the length.

Lelouch catches his eye and snatches his hand away.

"You can use it. That's why I brought it."

"I don't - oh." Lelouch swallows his words as Suzaku sits beside him, his heart pounding for some odd reason when Suzaku feels his forehead and then swipes his hair back from his face with both hands. "Mmmm…"

"Where do you want me to touch you?"

Lelouch's breath catches. "I…" He didn't think that far in advance either. Suzaku being here was one thing, but having his hands on him in this state?

Everywhere, he wants to say, but instead of that, his mind reaches another layer down, as though trying to expose all his deepest sources of shame. "I've no idea how to do this. Nowhere in particular, I guess. Y-your presence is kind of unnecessary, when I think of it."

"Lelouch, it's not like I haven't gone through this either.”

His eyes flick aside. "It's just…it's been a long time," he mutters. "And…and I'm…"

"Never had anyone with you, eh?"

"Don't tease me."

"I'm not." His cool hand on Lelouch's warm forehead is so soothing. More than he wants to admit. Suzaku's other palm travels to his neck, then his chest.

"How exactly did you do this when you were - ahhh - in the military?" he asks, trying so hard not to rub his legs together, squirming on the bed. The need in him, the deep, aching pull between his legs, like a hunger pang, is becoming almost unbearable. "Ohhh…"

Suzaku's fingers give his hair a little tug, and Lelouch gasps and his eyelids flutter, his limbs loose and suddenly limp - a typical submissive move he's never consciously made before. "Well, had to forget my shame for a bit," he says softly. "It was rather like having a…I guess a friend with benefits. They'd get undressed and touch me however I needed to be touched, and help me come as many times as I had to. Also kept me from jumping out the window and throwing myself haphazardly at someone out of desperation." He scans his face, palm resting on his cheek. "Do you want that?"

Lelouch nuzzles Suzaku's hand, unable to help himself. "I don't know. Yes, right now. But…you wouldn't see me differently, would you?"

His friend's green eyes soften, and Lelouch feels a heat in his chest that has nothing to do with lust. "Why would I ever see you differently?"

 _Because I've lied, because I'm Zero, because all of these things I've done will make you hate me_. "Because…our past…we were friends and-"

"You think that this'll change everything because we were friends at age 10?" His fingertips, roughened by the military and sword work and probably his own masochistic abuse of himself are still tender as they ghost over a nipple. Lelouch moans. "I'd rather do this with you than anyone else, Lelouch. Because we *are* friends." He chuckles. "Didn't forget how you used to crawl into my bed when you were afraid of the dark, do you?"

He tries to speak, but it comes out a choked groan, gasping as Suzaku's fingers pinch and tease the nub of flesh. "Oh god - I -"

"Enough talk for now, I think. I'll do what you ask me to. I'll back off if you want," he murmurs. "What do you need?"

Lelouch is writhing under him, there's no denying it now, and his cheeks are burning with humiliation, with the desire to hide, but Suzaku's hands, his cool hands are still there, and he's not backing out or leaning away and his fingers are teasing his nipples until Lelouch wants to die, his mouth open against the sheets as he whimpers with abandon. "Anything, anything," he pants, "a toy, god, please, I need it, I need it…"

Suzaku's hand leaves him for a moment, and a whine that he'll deny later escapes his lips, but then Suzaku is pressing the smaller of the two dildos into his hand and his words are muffled by the throbbing of blood in his ears and his touch has returned and there's a hand in his hair now, and Lelouch can't wait, fumbling beneath the sheets clumsily to line There's a damp spot beneath him, his own slickness dripping down his thighs and onto the sheets.

Words fail him at this point, the physical desperation too strong to allow him speech, his hands fumbling, his fingers feeling thick as he tries his hardest to thrust the toy into him. It's a horrible moment for him to be trying to figure out the actual mechanics of this, a display of his inexperience and clumsiness, and the whimper that escapes his lips is either from shame or blinding, maddening, exasperating need. Why, why is this happening?

But then, an encouraging voice, and hand swiftly takes the place of his and he cries aloud feeling the thick, false cock breech him, filling and stretching him so deliciously that he sobs out a great, "Oh yes, YES!" He reaches down and uses both hands to press hard on the base, his body vibrating with the pleasure, with the need to be filled and fucked and used. He never wants it out, whimpers when Suzaku reaches down and guides his wrist and it slides out of him a few inches, only to be slid back inside. Oh, that’s good. So good. He follows his lead, does it again, and again, fucking himself with frenzied speed, each thrust against his sweet spot sending a stab of barely-satisfying pleasure through his nerves. His cock is drooling, a round wet patch forming under his navel where the tip keeps rubbing as he thrashes. Suzaku is murmuring something to him, his hand now on his chest, flicking his thumb round a nipple, one hand still in his hair. Lelouch can’t hear him over his own voice, grinding down and fucking himself hard and fast, rocking up onto his toes on the mattress until he’s trembling and positively howling and coming, wet and messy and short-lived, all over his stomach, a hot rush of fluid soaking the sheet beneath him.

His body continues to shake once the throbbing inside him has eased to a warm glow, his mouth open as he tries to catch his breath. The false knot is such a delicious, satisfying stretch inside him, every minute movement like a tiny electric shock that sends a tug of bone-deep pleasure from his gut to his thighs. He's barely able to control the little stream of sounds tumbling from his mouth like pebbles as he lays half-strewn across Suzaku's lap. He realizes the sweat from the back of his neck is probably soaking through Suzaku's jeans, and he thinks to mutter an apology, but the words feel mushy in his mouth.

Suzaku chuckles, and his voice is like the warm tung of a bell. "Feel a little better? That's it, you're alright. Just breathe." He strokes over Lelouch's bare chest in wide circles, soothing him as though he were the crazed animal he feels like. Lelouch swallows several times - he can hear a little clearer now. "First wave's always a little disorienting, isn't it?"

"Mmm," he says in agreement, licking his lips. "Water."

Suzaku helps him sit up, pausing a moment to support him when Lelouch gasps, the toy still lodged inside him. "Go on, yeah, that’s it," he whispers softly, and Lelouch grinds down twice before opening his mouth in a drawn out moan of release as his muscles clench and spasm and the wet spot below him grows darker, wider, wetter. Suzaku moves up against his back, rocking him through it, and when the spasms stop and Lelouch’s head drops back against his shoulder, he cracks open a water bottle. Lelouch shivers, takes it with trembling hands and gulps it down. "I've a ton. Let me know when you need more."

Lelouch turns his head slightly towards him, his eyes half-lidded. The skimming of Suzaku's fingers over his back makes goosebumps rise on his arms and up the back of his neck, like warm sand being poured over his skin. It's pleasurable like nothing else is pleasurable. The only other times he's ever felt like this was watching Sayoko's movements when she thought no one was watching. Graceful, wholly attentive of what she was doing. The way she would delicately arrange flowers in a vase in the living room, or how she'd fold paper carefully while teaching Nunnally how to make a crane -

"You alright?" Suzaku asks, and even his voice is cool and smooth and velvety. "You should probably lay back again." Lelouch comes to and nods, lying on his side without much thought, inches away from the blue pattern of Suzaku's denim-clad thigh. He scowls at the criss-cross of threads and fibers, and Suzaku can trace the lines of thought over his forehead. "Penny for them?"

"How were you allowed to join the military?" he asks. The thought's been knocking around in his head since Suzaku mentioned his status. It doesn't fit, not in the slightest. "I find it hard to believe that even an honorary Britannian would be allowed in as an Omega, due to all the close quarters and…temptation, for lack of a better word."

"Well, that's exactly the opposite. It was because I was a former Eleven that I was allowed in." He swallows, and Lelouch immediately senses that this is not something he’s told many people. "A lot of the time, in the military quarters, there's a lot of Alpha energy around that just gets really difficult to regulate. There are so few outlets while on active duty, so our commanders have to run us tight to prevent conflict. Doesn’t leave us a lot of leisure time to pursue anyone at all, really. So, a lot of times, regiments will have at least a few Omegas as…morale boosters."

Lelouch doesn't understand for a moment, but then it clicks, with horrible clarity. "They used you for sex? Because you were an Eleven?" His voice is ice. It was unacceptable, it was barbaric.

"Shh, not exactly," he says. "Fraternization wasn't really allowed past, well, third base. It was more the occasional…lip service."

"I can't believe you'd do that."

Suzaku frowns. "I didn't have much choice, Lelouch."

He wants to retort, but he stops himself, sensing the hurt, and layer of shame underneath that Suzaku will never admit to. "I didn't mean it that way. It's appalling. Appalling that they made you do that."

"It wasn't that bad, not really. And it wasn't for very long, either. I was only in the barracks a few years before they transferred me. Only a handful of people ever expected me to do things for them like that. And I had one person help me through a Heat. It wasn't all bad."

It's words like that that made Lelouch's blood boil. Of course Suzaku would duck his head in submission, he'd never met someone who hated himself so much. How dare they, how dare they subject him like a toy to be passed around. "How many times have you said that to yourself? Trying to convince yourself you believe it, too?"

"I shouldn't have said anything." Clipped. Curt. Dammit.

"Don't be ridiculous, I asked you. Aha…" He shudders, and the toy within him shrinks to it's regular size again as he feels that slow, deep pull of arousal inside him again, the stickiness that dried on his thighs now growing damp with his own slick again. "I just…I hate that they-"

"Shh, let’s just drop it, ok? It's over, now. Don't think about it." Suzaku runs his fingers through Lelouch's hair, curls his fingers round inky locks – his grip tightens.

"God," Lelouch moans. "Mmm, ahhh, Suzaku --"

"It's good, isn't it?" he says, his voice low, and Lelouch practically salivates. He'd laugh if he could, call it his "serious" voice, but it's doing things to him, now - that warm-sand feel, that melty sensation through his limbs, and the tug, the slight ache as Suzaku pulls on his hair is enough to make him roll onto his stomach and hump the sheet beneath him. His fumbling hands thrust under the sheets and back to push the silicon cock into himself, over and over and over again. He pushes his face into the pillow to muffle the cries from his open mouth. It's like scratching the most intense itch of his life; the more he moves, the more he needs, the more he aches for a partner, another's hands on him, a body against his, someone to fill him and stretch him with something real and made of flesh.

Warm wetness blossoms over his left shoulder blade as his face is shoved to the side so he can breathe, sounds released to the air. It takes barely a minute for him to realize it's Suzaku's mouth on his skin, kissing over his shoulders and back, over his spine, teeth nibbling over the ridges that are far too visible under his pale skin. "Too much?" Suzaku whispers, and the hand in his hair tightens. Lelouch whimpers, shaking his head. Quivering, he lifts his hips, a silent plea, his wrist aching too much to continue. Suzaku doesn't need telling twice. He throws the sheets aside and Lelouch has barely enough time for shame before he's pounding the false cock inside him, over and over and over, and Lelouch is shouting out curses or platitudes or just garbled, delicious sounds, so utterly in need of this, this roughness, this control being taken from him. Submit, says his body, blossoming from somewhere deep in that reptilian brain, the furthest and closest to the skin, that part which demands only pleasure, only self-serving, gluttonous greed. Submit, submit, submit.

"Tell me when," Suzaku grunts, his hand slapping against Lelouch's buttocks over and over as Lelouch grinds with bestial fervor into the sheets beneath him. Lelouch doesn't understand at first, but the coil in his belly begins to tighten, and his moans warp into guttural cries with each wet thrust. Suzaku speeds up, and Lelouch is undone, threads popping as he grips the sheets when Suzaku presses the toy deep inside him, inflating the knot so Lelouch's eyes roll back and his body goes rigid, trembling as though in an icy wind.

Some minutes later after he goes limp, Suzaku bends closer to whisper, "You still with me?"

Lelouch makes a feeble sound as Suzaku rubs his shoulders. His hands feel so good. He turns his face to the other side and peers at Suzaku with one eye, giving him a wry smile.

"Barely. You’ve all but ravished me," he says, suddenly very aware of his nakedness, the heat rising in his cheeks. Christ, what have they just done? And how can Suzaku look at him like it's nothing in the world? Lelouch can’t meet his eyes, it’s like every disguise is being lifted effortlessly – and truly, he is laid bare for Suzaku the way he has never been for anyone else. "I feel a bit odd saying thank you."

"Don't."

"Say thank you?"

"Feel odd."

"Ah. Well. Thank you."

The crinkles at the corners of his eyes when his friend smiles make him ache, like Suzaku’s sunk a hand through his chest and is slowly pulling out his heart.

“You alright?”

“I feel…empty," Lelouch breathes, closing his eyes. It really is a physical ache. He knows it’s the Heat, the desire to have a partner close, to be held and protected and loved. Biology doing its best to preserve humanity. Making things ever more complicated. Making things hurt. “Suzaku.” How does he ask this? "I…" Then Suzaku's hand, still sticky from Lelouch's fluids, is trailing up and down his spine, and words are lost.

Suzaku presses his lips to his hair. "You know, if we have more body contact, you might feel a little better."

And for that moment, Lelouch doesn’t care that Suzaku can read him like a book, merely nods. Suzaku draws the sheet over him again, then scoots down a bit and stretches out.

"Preserving what little dignity I have left?" Lelouch mutters, as Suzaku throws an arm over his back, the warm, solid line of his chest pressed to Lelouch's side.

"I don't know why you think you've lost any of it in the first place."

"You can't honestly mean that."

"You think that I don't know exactly how wild Heat can make us?" He chuckles. "Thought you were smarter than that."

Their eyes meet again, and then they're laughing, laughing like they're ten again, like Nunnally's just sassed Lelouch into silence and Suzaku can't take it. And it's wonderful.

“Man, I was just thinking if the Pres got wind of this -"

"She'd have a field day."

"Think she'd tell?"

Lelouch shakes his head. "Despite her reputation, Milly is actually quite good at keeping secrets. After all, she's the only one who knows my identity among the group."

"She sure doesn't treat you like a prince, that's for sure."

"That is, rather, the whole purpose." His breath hitches as Suzaku leans in and kisses his shoulder. There's a pause, wherein he feels the warm press of lips to his skin, the imprint there long after he's pulled away. Lelouch wants it carved into his flesh, wants a reminder of Suzaku's tenderness, a reminder for that inevitable day when the mask crumbles away to reveal that the world's savior, the greatest symbol is an empty shell of a prince that Suzaku has been one of only two people to fill up with love.

"I like Milly," Suzaku muses, his eyes grazing over Lelouch's chin. He wonders if those green eyes are falling on his lips.

“You should.”

There’s another silence. Lelouch can feel Suzaku’s warm breath on his shoulder. It is so like having a partner. “I want you to keep touching me,” he murmurs, soft as a mouse creeping from a dusty corner. “Please.”

“Of course,” Suzaku says, his voice like feathers. Lelouch closes his eyes as Suzaku runs his fingers through his hair, playing with the strands at his nape, where, in a perfect world, he’d have the bitemark of a Bondmate.

“How do you know all this? How do you know how to touch me?” Lelouch whispers, voice slightly muffled by the pillow, as though he wishes it to be swallowed by the fluffy down, rather than Suzaku’s ears.

There’s no sound but for the smooth rasp of Suzaku’s hand over his skin. “It’s what I like, at least. Only thing I can go off of.”

“Mmm. Will you let me touch you like this one day?” His eyes are still closed. Suzaku is glad, because he’s afraid his heart’s wish is shining in his eyes.

“If you like.”

“Why not now?”

“Because you’re falling asleep.”

“Mmm’not.”

“It’s okay. Not going anywhere.”

And before he can even summon the will for a comeback, Lelouch falls asleep, Suzaku’s fingers still in his hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he snaps back to life, eyes still bleary with the half-remembered image of Kallen in a foxy-girl outfit to a dead fox draped around Zero’s neck, it takes a minute for him to register if he’s still dreaming or not. Mostly because now Suzaku is dozing beside him, his shirt tossed off sometime in the past few hours, clothed only in his jeans, which lay low on his hips. His skin is darker than Lelouch’s, tanned by hours spent in the sun wherein Lelouch has been more than content to hole himself up indoors. The lack of any lines or discrepancies makes Lelouch sure that he’s been shirtless outside. Many times.

Lelouch is staring, staring and staring and wetter than he ever remembers being in his life, he can feel it slicking his cheeks, dripping down behind his balls. The itch is back, and the desire to _rip those damn denim pants off Suzaku and ride him until he can’t think_ , that has nothing to do with the fact that Suzaku is, in fact, lying here, half-naked in bed with him. No, Lelouch thinks, it’s the hormones, it’s the flood of testosterone and cortisol and estradiol that makes his body ready and eager and content to, as Suzaku had put it, haphazardly throw himself and anyone and everyone who presented themselves to him while in this state.

But Lelouch, for all his faults, is not, and never will be a rapist. He will not stoop so low as to molest Suzaku while he’s asleep like this, no matter how delicious he looks. And it’s merely the situation. Omegas, to other Omegas, are not useful. They cannot biologically satisfy another, they can’t knot, can’t impregnate, and Lelouch doubts that Bonding is even a fair question, socially or . He doesn’t need the shame of having an Omega as his lover, as his only partner, as the one who loves him more than anyone else can. Suzaku’s name is kicked around enough by people at school, by the fear in Nina’s flitting eyes, by the number seemingly tattooed on his forehead, in the line of his beautiful almond-shaped eyes, in the family name he wears first before his own, once in pride, now twice in shame.

He pushes himself up as slow as he can manage, and realizes that the toy must have been put somewhere after he fell asleep (he tries not to think of Suzaku removing it, of missing a single moment of Suzaku’s hand between his thighs), and that the other three lie in an almost comical pile some feet away at the end of his bed. His hand hovers over the egg-shaped vibrator a moment, curious. But his mind and his need overcome that, and he certainly doesn’t want to get caught up and flustered trying to figure out how it works.

He grabs the second dildo instead, spits into his hand. It’s bigger, and much more difficult, but he manages, carefully as possible, and aided by his own saliva and the slick dripping down his inner thighs, to lower himself down onto the thick shaft, pausing at the bottom, achingly full, his muscles rippling as he starts rocking back and forth, trying to control his erratic breathing.

These are Suzaku’s, he thinks. He’s used these. He knew what to bring. He is like me. Suzaku, sitting on the edge of his bed, bouncing on the toy, his beautiful voice muttering filthy curses in Japanese. On all fours, whimpering as he works it in and out, his hole wet and reddened and stretched as the knot widens and he comes and comes and comes. Suzaku, on his knees, his lips wrapped round the cock of some faceless military man, his fingers inside himself. Lelouch bites his knuckle so hard, he’s shocked he doesn’t hear his bones crack. “Suuu…”

What he doesn’t take into account is what a light sleeper Suzaku has grown to be, having blinked to awakness sometime while Lelouch was fussing over the toys. He lays there, unmoving, watching him through the slits of his eyelids as Lelouch moves onto his knees, using his own crude (delicious) form of lube before starting to ride. His lungs suddenly seem so heavy, watching Lelouch taking his own pleasure like that. He closes his eyes again, but the sounds, the sounds. His fingers lying on his chest twitch, Lelouch’s slick fluid now dried on his flesh – he still smells of him.

“Fuck – ah!”

He inhales slightly, as though just waking, up, stretching a bit, and meets Lelouch’s eyes, smiling a bit. Lelouch, however, freezes.

“Keep going.” Not quite an order, not quite a suggestion. Lelouch doesn’t seem to know what to do for a moment, but Suzaku rubs his palm over his thigh. “Keep going,” he repeats, and Lelouch closes his eyes, lips now pursed, his groans throaty and rich even with his mouth closed.

Suzaku watches him, digging his nails into his thigh and raking them down slightly – Lelouch gasps, his pretty lips open again. “Attaboy,” Suzaku purrs. He shifts a bit, a tremor in his breath as he watches Lelouch’s cock bounce against his stomach, and a flutter of something erupts in his chest as he realizes just how wet he himself is. His fingers travel further up his thigh and Lelouch seizes his wrist, holding him there.

“You coming?” he asks, the sleepy-gravel of his voice tipping Lelouch over the edge, and Suzaku’s knuckles are suddenly flecked with warm, sticky fluid, the rest dripping down his friend’s stomach and hip. “Guess so.”

“Ohh,” Lelouch pants, releasing his vice-grip and rubbing his forearm, lifting up and off the toy with a wince. “S-sorry I woke you.”

“Not at all. You needed it.”

Lelouch looks down at him, lying there so casually, cleaning the semen off his hand with a tissue, while he himself feels like a storm is burning inside him. “Suzaku?”

“Yeah?”

“Why’s it still necessary for you to be dressed?”

Suzaku’s eyes may have widened a fraction – it could be a trick of the light. “I don’t have to be,” he says. “You just seemed pretty, well…”

“Pretty what?”

“Shy.” The look on Lelouch’s face is not one he’d expected, that being either a tad rueful, amused, or even indignant. But Lelouch’s eyes are oddly blank, and they never leave his, even as he slips two fingers through a beltloop without a word. Suzaku searches his face, but finds no traces of mockery. So he saves him the need to speak it aloud, unbuttons his pants, stands and slides them off his hips, stepping out of them like a snake shedding skin. There’s a pause wherein they look at each other, finally naked, finally equal, before he sits on the bed again. “Better? Oh…”

Lelouch has lurched forward _(reaching for his face?_ ), lost balance and tipped forward, hands on his friend’s shoulders to brace himself, sprawled across his chest. “Oops.”

“…You did that on purpose.”

“Not at all.” He grins – it’s Suzaku’s turn to blush. “I have to say, it is a relief having you like this, now.”

“Oh? How so?” He doesn’t mean –

“You’re not secretly an Alpha wearing an entire bottle of neutralizer.”

“Ah.” He tries not to feel crestfallen.

“Some things you can hide until –“

“Until you’ve got your pants around your ankles, yeah.”

Lelouch chuckles and flops to the side. “I don’t think you have to worry about me running out the door, anymore.”

“I haven’t been. You can barely run ten paces.”

“Dick.”

“Hey, it’s no smaller than yours.” He laughs, too. “You walked right into that one.”

“You realize you just insulted your own penis, too, don’t you?”

“Ohh, ‘insult,’ my well-lubed ass.” Suzaku gives him such a wicked, little-boy smirk that Lelouch wants to eat him up. “I’d rather be this than anything else.”

“How many ways do you try and tell yourself that?”

“Lelouch, don’t.”

He stops. “Sorry.” And he is. “I can’t…I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s fine,” he says, more somber, reminded again of the miles of difference between them. Lelouch is so complicated, his head so full of ideas and contradictions. The prince, the civilian. The genius, the slacker. The friend, the the lonely child. The selfish prick, the devoted brother. So many sides to him, and even Suzaku can’t tell what will come after all of this, if Lelouch will be embarrassed or secretive or completely blasé about the whole thing. He’s so caught up in wondering, it takes him by surprise when Lelouch lays his head on his shoulder and nestles into his arms a bit more.

“Heat bonding,” Lelouch mutters sheepishly, trying his hardest not to purr, breathing in deep the soft, milky whiff he catches just behind Suzaku’s jaw, where the scent of him is strongest, where it would be thick and heady and dark if this were his time and not Lelouch’s. So much different than the assaulting spice of an Alpha, or the dull, vague floral of a Beta. And he wants…he wants…

“You don’t have to explain it to me.” Suzaku wraps an arm around his shoulders and gives him a little squeeze, but his breath stops completely as Lelouch’s long fingers trace his hip, the strong v-muscle of his groin. “Lelouch…”

“Shh…shhh…” Lelouch noses his neck, praying. He can practically hear the conversation in his head, can hear Suzaku’s stupidly noble, endearingly naïve voice…

_“I can’t just let this be one-sided.”_

_“Lelouch…that’s not the point, though. It just –“_

_“Consider it repayment.”_

_“I don’t need to be repaid. We’re friends.”_

_“Do friends do this?”_

_“It’s different.”_

_“Why won’t you let me do the same?”_

“Lelouch…” is what he hears instead. His name comes out on a sigh, rolling off Suzaku’s tongue like the kisses Lelouch wants tattooed all over his shoulder blades. “Lelouch…” He pushes against him harder, and something gives in Suzaku’s form, his chin tilting up, and Lelouch opens his mouth against his bared throat, tongue flicking over his skin. Yes, Suzaku is an Omega. How glorious. How _glorious_.

“Yes?” he whispers, his hand sliding down to brush the back of his knuckles against Suzaku’s cock, which swells deliciously against his touch. Suzaku nods hurriedly, and Lelouch, already waist deep in the tide, caresses him with his palm.

He knows it’s clumsy, sloppy, the way his mouth moves wetly over his skin, but really, Suzaku doesn’t seem to mind at all, baring his neck for him more as Lelouch makes a loop with finger and thumb, stroking up and down, a semi-duplicate of the only sexual act he has any real experience with. He closes his fingers round the shaft, flicks the head with his thumb, and the sound Suzaku makes is something not even the filthiest downloads will ever replicate, for the fire it lights in Lelouch’s gut.

Suzaku is panting shakily against his temple, hands skittering over his back as he rocks into Lelouch’s light grip. “Tighter,” he whispers. “I like it a bit tighter.”

Lelouch does as he’s told, grinning and nipping at his collarbone. “The noble Suzaku Kururugi touches himself? How very naughty.”

“Oh ha, ha. The former Prince Lelouch vi B-britannia is a bashful, blushing virgin.” He hisses as Lelouch nips his collarbone. “Don’t call me noble.”

“I’ll call you what I like. Suzaku…” And God, he wants - whether it’s the heat talking or another strange, bone-deep need he’s always had, he doesn’t know, nor can he bring himself to care. The lines are so blurred at this point, why bother worrying about them anymore?

“Suzaku…” He mouths at each pectoral, watches as his nipples pebble and stand, laps over one, flicking his tongue mercilessly when Suzaku arches up into him, his whimper the most gorgeous sound he’s ever heard. “Suzaku…”

Suzaku tosses his beautiful curly head on the pillow, looking down at his prince, his best friend, his heart, his something else nuzzling over the lines of his stomach, until he gets a poke in the face from something quite insistent.

“Well, well…”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Suzaku’s lips tremble, as Lelouch takes him in his fist again, propping himself on an elbow, the kiss to his inner thigh gently coaxing his legs further apart. _This is happening. This is real. Lelouch’s mouth –_

His world condenses into one sharp, sweet sweep across Lelouch’s lower lip, painting flesh with clear, milky fluid. Suzaku shoves his hand underneath his hip to keep himself from grabbing his hair, sinking his teeth into the heel of his hand as Lelouch closes his lips round the tip and gives it an experimental suck.

He bites so hard, he’ll find bruises in the morning, trying not to buck upwards into his mouth. From the slow sucking to the blush on his cheeks the moment he walked in, Suzaku has had little doubt that he’s the first person Lelouch has ever been remotely intimate with. He doesn’t mind guiding him, not remotely. But when Lelouch’s other hand tenderly teases his from under his hip, and laces their fingers together, Suzaku sighs in submission, feeling that he might need someone to guide him through this, too.

Lelouch nurses the head a bit more, laps at the slit with the flat of his tongue, noting how Suzaku’s thighs quiver as when he uses the very tip. He’s never had this need before, never wanted so badly to explore someone else this way, never looked at someone else’s body and felt such a desire to have them inside him. He can’t lie, Suzaku’s cock is aesthetically pleasing in ways he hadn’t considered before. While he’s smaller than most, as all Omegas are, the hair at the base more fine and just a hint lighter than the hair on his head, he’s well shaped, the head pulsing slightly against his lips, against the roof of his mouth. He wants nothing more than to kiss it and touch it and have it in his mouth.

He laps long, wet stripes up and down the length, wondering if he’ll ever hear Suzaku’s laugh without hearing him moan in his mind’s ear, if Suzaku will see Lelouch smile and imagine his mouth on him, if he’ll ever be able to look at Suzaku’s hands without feeling them pressing a fake cock inside his body, without thinking of their fingers locked together, without the intimacy of it washing over him like a wave he cannot run from, that he wants to dive into and never resurface.

“ _Kimochi ii_ ,” Suzaku whispers, then claps a hand over his mouth. Lelouch pokes him in the side.

“I want to hear you,” he says, his voice unusually low, and he watches Suzaku’s hand slip from his mouth to grip the pillow instead, his legs spreading a bit more as Lelouch starts to take him in deeper. It’s not a matter of it being hard to take – it’s a matter of him wanting more and more of Suzaku in his mouth, wanting to taste all of him at once. He sucks hard so the flat of his tongue lays against the pulsing vein, tasting salt and skin and something bitter and primal and amazing. He palms at his balls, which have drawn up slightly, and then notices, his knuckles brushing the skin beneath, that Suzaku is wet.

 _Of course he is,_ he thinks _. Of course you are. Of course you want something inside you, of course you want to be fucked like I do._ The knuckle of his middle finger brushes softly against the puckered skin, and Suzaku gasps, seemingly caught between the decision to grind down and the need to stay still for fear of choking Lelouch anymore.

Lelouch, however, has already made up his mind. He pulls up and off momentarily, their fingers loosening their knotted hold (his heart skips when he feels Suzaku squeeze in resistance at first, as though to keep him there). Stretching as much as he can, he grabs the plug, its flared end fitting between his fingers. “You want this?”

“Fuck…” Suzaku covers his face with his hands a moment, then lets them fall with a thud to the bed. “Yes.” He points to the paper bag on the nightstand. “Th-there’s lube…”

Lelouch finds it quickly, rustling for barely five seconds, finally coming back to his original position and squirting some into his palm, rolling the toy in it until it gleams. He mouths at Suzaku’s sac as he nudges the tip against his entrance, hears him breathe out as he pushes it in, his body visibly quivering around it until the widest part has slipped past the tightest ring of muscle and it lies smoothly against his skin.

“Incredible,” Lelouch whispers, licking up and down his prick ever so lightly.

“Lelouch,” Suzaku quavers, his voice thick with need. “Please…”

His hunger for him in insatiable – he takes Suzaku’s cock in his mouth in a heartbeat, sucking greedily as his lube-slick hand caresses his balls, drinking in the sounds of Suzaku coming apart, watching his hands dart up to his chest to tease and pinch and roll his own nipples between his fingers. _How long has it been? How long has it been since someone gave this to you? How long has it been since you’ve been wanted?_

It takes barely another minute, before Suzaku chokes out something that sounds like “ _Iku_!” and “Lelouch!” before Lelouch suddenly feels him tremor underneath him, accompanied by a (not unexpected) squirt of salty fluid in his mouth. It happens so fast that he doesn’t have time to pull away, instead opening his mouth in surprise, letting it drip down his chin and over his lips and tongue. He’s panting himself, now, his skin burning up.

Suzaku takes one wild look at him, then grabs his wrist and tugs him forward, up and up to straddle his face, man handling him until he has one foot planted (shaking) on the mattress, the other knee on the pillow, spread obscenely over Suzaku’s face.

“Wait, what –“

Suzaku’s tongue licks a wet swathe over his slick entrance, and words are gone, knuckles white on the bars of the headboard, and the whine he lets out is _mortifying_ , the blinding pleasure and astonishment as Suzaku presses his tongue _inside_ him, now – it’s filthy and lewd and the air is full of the wet, slick sounds of his mouth (and now, oh god, a finger, no, two, inside him, fucking him, in and out and in and out), it’s all crushing his pride and arrogance in the dirt in the face of his body’s demands. And then Suzaku’s fingers have found the bundle of nerves inside him, catching it between the edges of his fingers, massaging it without mercy, and nothing has _ever_ felt so good, Lelouch grinding shamelessly down on his tongue, on his fingers without a care in the world except _more, god, please, more_.

He comes, throwing his head back with a wail, his arms shaking as he rides Suzaku’s face until the tremors stop at long, long last. Suzaku lets him, encourages him, squeezing one white cheek with his free hand, fingerprints still red long after he lets go. He helps Lelouch, somewhat clumsily, lower down to the mattress, their poses flipped head to toe, his chin shining wet with clear, viscous fluid, a sort of parallel the come now drying over Lelouch’s lips and cheeks and tongue. They lie there, panting, Lelouch’s nose pressed to Suzaku’s knee, and the latter’s hair tickling his shin. There’s a touch to his hip, where his hand is resting; Suzaku’s fingers finding his, slowly fitting themselves between his own. Lelouch squeezes, unable to put into words any of what he needs to say, wants to say.

At long last, Suzaku sits up. “I think we’re each in need of a toothbrush,” he says quietly. “Come on. Let’s see if you can walk.”

Lelouch barely disguises a snort, but the moment he tries to stand, he finds his legs wobbly and his head throbbing. Suzaku takes him by the waist as he sways on the spot. “Whoa, there. Come on. I’ll get you some water, too.”

“Forget that, I might as well drown in the shower.”

Suzaku chuckles. “Well, I’ll have to keep an eye on you, then.”

“Oh?”

“So you don’t faint and split your head.”

Lelouch does manage to do both at the same time. Suzaku runs him a shower, and then proceeds to hand Lelouch his toothbrush, already dabbed in toothpaste. Lelouch sits for a long time in the bathtub, letting the warm water blast over him, feeling drained and woozy, scrubbing mindlessly at his teeth. Suzaku scratches his fingers on the shower curtain before he peers round. “Rinse. And drink this.” He hands him a full water bottle.

Lelouch obeys, rinsing his mouth, then chugging down the bottle in its entirety, until the pounding behind his eyes begins to ease. Suzaku pulls back the curtain again and rubs his arm. “Open your mouth,” he says. Lelouch raises an eyebrow, but does so, and Suzaku pushes a broken off piece of banana between his lips.

Ten minutes later, feeling a bit more human and alert, Lelouch makes it back to bed. “Ugh, wish I had a change of sheets.”

“Pull up the duvet, then. We’ll lay on that.”

Together they do so, and Lelouch sinks down first, rolling into the center. He looks up at Suzaku, who has that look in his eye again, almost as though he’s been knocked back into his dark thoughts, the glassy-eyed lapse in memory that never seems to be full of anything good.

Such a martyr, Lelouch thinks, without spite. He knows. There was no way Suzaku’s Heats were anything like this in the military. He was a tool. A nuisance. _Not as tender. Not near as fun._

He reaches out his arms, making a little “come here” motion with his hands. Suzaku looks a bit surprised, but then eagerly climbs into bed and into his embrace, where Lelouch holds him tight, feeling Suzaku’s nose bury into his neck, every inch the shy boy he had never been as a child.

“Lelouch?”

“Mmm?”

“Why did you do that?“

“Do what?”

“You know. With your mouth.”

“Mmm.” He drums his fingers up his friend’s back, tracing little patterns along the lines of muscle.

Suzaku knows Lelouch, he’d like to say very well. And he can hear him, in his mind’s ear. _Because it was only fair._

“Because I wanted to.”

  
_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Suzaku wakes on his back again, but with the warm weight of Lelouch on top of him, lips working gently at his neck.

“Mmm, what a nice way to wake up,” he purrs, eyes still closed. “Need some help?”

“No. I just thought you looked sad while you were sleeping and I wanted to remedy that.”

Suzaku isn’t sure what to think of that, but his thoughts are gently kissed away by Lelouch’s warm, wet mouth over his throat again. “Oh…”

“You’re still wearing the plug.”

Suzaku’s eyes shoot right open at that. “Ah, um –“

“You could have told me when we were done. I would have helped you take it out.”

“No, I don’t need help, it’s fine. I like keeping it in.” He flushes deeper. “Ahem…”

Lelouch raises his eyebrows, smiling cheekily. “Are you always so…”

“So what?”

“Kinky?”

“I’d hardly call being an Omega with a bunch of relatively necessary sex toys ‘kinky.’ I daresay I’d call you a bit lacking. Asking for trouble.”

“I wasn’t criticizing,” he says, now sitting up and running his hands all over Suzaku’s chest. “You have a favorite?”

Suzaku pushes himself up to sit and kisses Lelouch’s collarbones, pinching a nipple lightly between his fingers. “Depends on my mood.”

“Guide me through your many moods, then, Suzaku,” he hums, his lips against his ear.

Suzaku rolls them over so he’s on top, feeling a wicked satisfaction at how Lelouch’s eyes close and his arms twist above his head when he does so. “Well, when I’m Heating, it’s always the dildos. I’m sad I didn’t show you the suction cup feature on one of them. I can just stand in the shower and use it against the wall.”

“Sounds a little hazardous.”

“Ah, and I suppose that’s your only reason for not owning them, eh?”

“It’s not that. I just don’t fancy Milly finding anything remotely incriminating,” he says.

“You seem to have a bit of a love-hate thing going on there.”

“I believe the term you’d use is tsundere?”

Suzaku splutters. “Um, no. Not quite. At all.”

“Why do we always end up talking about Milly?”

“You started it!”

Lelouch actually laughs and pushes up against him a bit and kisses his chest, scratching his nails down his back and shoulders, his lips finding a nipple and closing over it to suck. Suzaku’s next retort dies in his throat, and his muscles flutter around the toy still lodged in him.

“The plug,” Lelouch murmurs, now flicking his tongue back and forth over the pebbled nub. “How often do you wear that to class?”

“Never, you dirty thing.” He moans. “God, I can’t think when you do that.” Lelouch pulls off and lays back, smiling at the look of semi-disappointment on Suzaku’s face. “Well, you didn’t have to stop…”

“What does this one do?” Lelouch picks up the silicon egg with the cord attached to the little remote.

“It’s a vibrator. You can use it, uh, inside you. I don’t use it too much. I guess it could be used with a partner, but –“

“You’ve used it with someone else before?”

“Well, no. I got it more because I hadn’t bought a toy before. I didn’t really know what I was buying.”

“Would you want to?”

“Try it with a partner? I mean, yeah. Could be fun. Not sure if I’d really be the one using it, though.”

“You could be.”

“How?”

Lelouch looks up at him pointedly, stroking his sides. He can see the wheels turning in Suzaku’s head, slowed by either disbelief or simple obliviousness, or a resistance, potentially, to the growing implications Lelouch has started to lay before him.

Then it clicks. He feels a rush when the pupils within the green irises widen, his eyes dark, his lips parting in a little gasp. “Lelouch…”

“It’s just an idea. I’m going to need it, soon. I daresay I’d give your wrist a break. And…” He blushes. “The toys only go so far. I want…I want something real.”

Suzaku looks almost panicked. “Lelouch, you can’t mean that.”

“I do. I want it.”

“But I’m not an Alpha. Lelouch, there’s no way I could –“

“Nonsense, of course you can.”

“Lelouch…” Now that, unfortunately, is the Suzaku he knows.

“You have a dick, that’s really all I want right now.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“How is it not? You think the act of fucking is terribly complicated? Insert rod A into –“

“That’s not it!”

“Then what is it?”

“There’s no way I could, could – “ His face is red, his eyes bright – watery? “Could _satisfy_ you!”

Lelouch is still for a whole ten seconds. “What the hell do you mean by that?”

“I’m…Lelouch, I’m not an Alpha. I’m not huge like that, I don’t have a knot. I’d…I’m small. You know that, you practically fit all of me down your damn throat,” he says, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “You wouldn’t like it. I’m sure of it.”

There’s a long, awkward silence. Suzaku can’t meet his eyes. He’s ruined this, he knows it. He’s ruined all of it, Lelouch has to be angry now. He’s got half a mind to just get up and start packing his things, when a hand comes to cup the back of his neck.

“I wish you would stop insulting yourself for one minute.”

Suzaku feels the burn in his eyes, humiliation thickening the ache in his throat. He doesn’t want to look at Lelouch, but he has no choice, as Lelouch tilts his head to meet his eyes.

“You think I would have asked if I didn’t know? If I didn’t just, as you put it, ‘fit all of you down my damn throat?’”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re spectacularly blind. And stubborn.” There’s not an ounce of malice in his voice. “I won’t make you do it if you really don’t want to. But I’d rather you tell me you don’t, than try to convince me with some ridiculous noble reasoning as not being able to satisfy me.” He searches his face. “Do you really not want to?”

“I do. I do, of course I do. I just…”

“Are you afraid of me?”

The words ring in the air, as though Lelouch had shouted them. And when Suzaku looks up, Lelouch can’t tell if he’s looking at himself, as Lelouch, or a clumsily masked, unknown Zero. And only Suzaku would be able to tell.

But the tiniest wrinkle appears at the corner of his mouth – he’s smiling. “Terrified,” Suzaku murmurs, and slides his hands over Lelouch’s hips. “But tell me…tell me that you want it. Otherwise I’ll –“

“I want this,” he whispers, reaching down and cutting off Suzaku’s words with a touch to his cock, which makes him gasp. “I want you.”

“Watch what you say,” Suzaku murmurs, his fingers digging into his hips as he sits on his heels, pushing Lelouch onto his back. “Otherwise I might think you want everything this comes with.” Lelouch doesn’t respond. Instead he lays there, grabbing a pillow from one end of the bed and shoving it under his hips.

“Somewhat correct, yes?”

“Uh, yeah.” He grabs the lube and coats a few fingers.

“You don’t really need to do that for me.”

“But – “

“We still have to take care of you.”

“Take care of me?”

Lelouch grabs his shoulders and pulls him down, rolling them over. “I want to play –“ He holds up the egg, “with this.”

Suzaku’s eyes darken again. “I probably won’t last long.”

“Because I have been lasting for sooooo long,” Lelouch drawls with a dramatic flick of his wrist. “Please.” He sets it aside and kisses over Suzaku’s chest and stomach as he gently works out the plug. “Am I hurting -?”

“No. N-no, not at all. Ahhh…” It slides out, and Lelouch picks up the lube again.

“Well, Mr. Kururugi, seems out positions are reversed.”

“What an astute observation,” he responds dryly.

Lelouch rolls his eyes, slicking his fingers, back on his stomach to start pressing one inside. “How many do you prep yourself with?”

“Ffffuuu….like, two. Maybe three.”

Lelouch kisses his knee and watches as his finger slides inside, past the reddened ring of muscle, in and out, in and out. Suzaku is hot and wet and tighter than he himself is, although the plug has made him softer and open. Lelouch kisses his inner thigh, watching his cock, already half hard, rising to lay hard and flushed against his belly. Another finger, and Suzaku is moaning softly, rolling his hips into the touch. Lelouch watches him, rapt and wet and wanting, pressing his fingers up, toward his navel, and Suzaku arches up, gripping the bars of his bed with a guttural groan of, “Lelouch, _pleeeaaase_ ,” that has Lelouch fighting not to rut against his thigh.

 _Mercy_ , he thinks to himself, picking up the toy, pulling his fingers out slowly, and slicks it up with gel. He twirls the dial – nothing happens.

“You have to turn it on, first. The button, at the bottom. God, give it here.” Suzaku snatches the remote, the egg still sitting in Lelouch’s hand, presses something, and spins the dial – it buzzes to life in Lelouch’s hand.

“Oh!” He almost laughs. It’s hilarious, he can’t deny it, knowing that Suzaku owns something like this.

“Turn it off before you put it in me.”

“As you wish.” He obeys, pressing the odd, round toy against his entrance – it slides a bit, but with a little push, it slides into Suzaku without a hitch. Not even Lelouch is cruel enough, or confident enough, for that matter, to turn it on without letting him adjust. “Does it need – “

“J-just give me a second…” His hands don’t seem to know what to do with themselves, lying on his chest, then brushing his own hair out of his eyes, then dropping to the bed again.

Lelouch lays beside him, kissing his shoulder. “Alright?”

“Mmm, yeah. Good now.” He tilts his head so their noses brush, and Lelouch thinks for one wild minute that they actually might kiss. “You can try it out. Slowly.”

“It’s not like I’m keen on electrocuting you.” He turns the dial to the lowest setting. “I still want you conscious.”

Suzaku manages to laugh, cut short by a moan as he squirms. “Ohhh yeah…” He writhes next to Lelouch, who’s breath is shaking, his teasing remarks eclipsed by his sudden, all encompassing desire for him. He reaches down, pressing the wet bite of a kiss along the shell of Suzaku’s ear as he takes his erection in his hand, stroking in time with Suzaku’s rocking hips.

“I want this in me,” he whispers. “Now. Now, please.”

Suzaku doesn’t need telling twice. He pins Lelouch under him, rubbing their pricks together in a sinuous move that almost has Lelouch coming on the spot, and then his fingers are suddenly inside him and Lelouch is wetter than he ever remembers being in his life and begging and pleading for him to just get on with it.

There’s a little rush of movement, and oh god, Suzaku’s between his legs again, but he’s pushing his knees back so Lelouch is exposed enough to feel the brush of the swollen head against his hole. The gravity of this, moments away from _having sex_ , from having sex _with Suzaku_ , his best friend, for the first time in his life…

It must have shown on his face, for then Suzaku, his Suzaku is looking down at him, and a palm is caressing his cheek in an act of tenderness he’ll replay for months and months in the future, with a gun in his hand, with a gun in his face, with those green eyes fixed on him absent of anything but pure hatred...

“You okay?”

Lelouch swallows, reaches up and touches Suzaku’s face as well. “Yes. Yes, I’m fine. Do it. Please.”

He does.

It really is nothing like the dildo, it’s not nearly as large, nor does it stretch him to the point of aching and kick his mind into that primal mode that cares about nothing but being filled. But it’s warm and undeniably alive, pulsing softly inside him, especially when he teasingly turns the vibrator up. And it is Suzaku. Suzaku, with him, above him, inside him, who looks about as flushed red and shining as the vermillion bird he’s named for.

His fingers fall inbetween the lines of Suzaku’s ribs, feeling his breath as it hisses in and out, slow as he slides in, adjusting to a feeling that is at once incredibly familiar and utterly alien to them both. He can’t stop looking up at him, even as Suzaku’s bangs fall into his eyes – he’s looking down, at Lelouch’s neglected prick, at the white thighs now draped over his hips, and, almost incredulously, at the place where he’s disappeared, where they’re now connected, closer than they’ve ever been in their ever more complicated lives.

And Lelouch is burning, burning, burning for him.

Suzaku nips Lelouch’s shoulder as fingers dig slightly into his ribs, gasps as the same hand sweeps up to brush a thumb in a quick circle round his right nipple. His hips stutter, (“Fuck!”) and he looks up at Lelouch, who’s lips are parted and rosy and curved in a smirk. There’s a moment, their eyes locked, where Suzaku feels himself inside Lelouch, and Lelouch revels in Suzaku inside him, and everything could go awfully pear-shaped and awkward, but it doesn’t, it slips further and further and further away as they gaze at each other, a thousand words they will never say passing in the space between their panting mouths.

It’s sudden symbiotic desire that brings their lips together, Lelouch lifting his chin and Suzaku melting down to meet him in an open-mouthed kiss that is hot and wet and fills Lelouch up like a rush of rising steam.

Oh, it’s incredible, his tongue sliding against Suzaku’s teeth, his inner walls quivering and growing wetter when Suzaku sucks the tip, when he catches Lelouch’s upper lip for a soft, wet bite. Lelouch digs his heels into his low back to bring him closer, his thumb flicking the dial on the remote in his other hand. Suzaku fails miserably to stifle a long, high whine, his hips rocking instinctively – God, right now, he’s all Lelouch has ever wanted.

“Don’t stop.”

“Can’t,” Suzaku breathes, managing a little laugh as his hips snap forward, beginning that steady push-pull of fucking that makes Lelouch’s eyelids flutter and his mouth to drop open. Suzaku tilts to cover it with his own – Lelouch purrs and fiddles with the dial again, and chuckles when Suzaku squirms in his arms in response. “Oh god, oh god, oh god…”

“Feels good?”

“Oh Lelouch, you feel so good…”

“You do, too, aha, oh God, Suzaku, your cock –“ He can barely speak between kissing. “Your mouth…” Suzaku sucks his tongue so hard, it hurts. There is nothing outside of this, no Japan, no Britannia, no grief, no burdens. There is only Suzaku’s mouth, and his tongue, and his hot breath, and his beautiful body around and on top and inside Lelouch, fucking him so well, he wants to cry.

There are so many things he wants to say, so many things he’s unsure of, so many things he wants to give up if he could only make them stay this way. His hand on the dial works, sometimes making Suzaku speed up with animalistic speed and high, needy whimpers, sometimes slow and deep and intense with a growl against his throat. His hard stomach rubs so well against Lelouch’s dick between them, the head so sensitive and raw from the Heat, the constant stimulation, the fulfillment of so many subconscious and conscious and guilty and ecstatic desires that Lelouch is mad with pleasure he will never believe he deserves.

“Lelouch,” Suzaku pants, his mouth so wet as he kisses Lelouch that the latter wants to meld with him, wants to melt in his bones. “M’gonna come soon.”

“M-me too,” Lelouch chokes, his voice overwrought with so much that he’ll attribute to arousal later. “Suzaku, oh Suzaku…”

The bed is rocking as Suzaku speeds up, egged on only more by Lelouch cranking the vibrator, fucking him harder and faster as his cries rise in volume. And then Suzaku’s tongue is in his mouth, and his hips are slapping against Lelouch’s and there’s a warmth blooming inside him and Lelouch is arching and clenching around him and wrapping himself as tightly as he can around Suzaku’s quivering form as they tumble over the edge, blissfully, wonderfully together.

Lelouch won’t let him pull away from his mouth when Suzaku wilts against him, peppers his lips with small, tender kisses until Suzaku tucks his face into his neck. They lay there for minutes, listening to each other breathe, the words they cannot say and both know to be true spinning in the silence like a swarm of hornets. _We could, we shouldn’t, we weren’t, we can’t, we won’t, we will, we are._

Suzaku opens his mouth to speak, but Lelouch places a finger over his lips. There’s a silence, Suzaku aching to spill out everything he has ever thought, ever wanted, but he cannot say it. As much as he wants to, and as much as the pain in Lelouch’s eyes tells him he wants to hear it.

So he kisses him, violently, ferociously, passionately, and Lelouch kisses back, nails across his back and shoulders and clicking teeth and scraping tongues until they’re anger at the world is all but dissipated, and they can do nothing but hold each other, memorizing each other’s lips, like they will never have this time again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lelouch knows that the world was unforgiving, that nothing would let them be in this state forever. Not time. Not Japan. Not Zero. He was smarter than to believe they could stay this way.

They couldn’t.

And they didn’t.

~~~~~

_Meridian: a. the great circle passing through the celestial poles_

_b. each of a set of pathways in the body along which vital energy is said to flow_

_c. a peak, a highest point, a zenith_


End file.
